Expressed!

The first image of her in my mind depicts her sitting on a Tailoring machine, stitching only to make sure the dreams of her children come true. A house which was only enough to breath! An economy which was not considered to be the best among those times, she toiled only to give the best. I remember the picturesque scene  when she advised me to get a decent degree first and then pursue my own dreams, she explained me "With education, comes knowledge and with knowledge the confidence to pursue" 

Once when I was trying to explore the complex world, I was in my 3rd grade, it was just the time my school bell rang and I ran out crazily to find the only face which brought me happiness, My heart beat raced when I did not find her, eyes kept rolling in all directions just to find out that one face and when I did not find her for several minutes, I started shouting in desperation looking upwards, people tried to console only to retreat with a defeated face, I felt, it was just the end of world but then I noticed a small smile, a consoling hand, a soft touch, It was her! She was just late by few minutes, I hugged her tight panting and taking the last available breath I screamed at her "Not to be late.." she promised me that she will never be, she whispered "face the world with confidence" in my ears that day, which still echoes today, Like thousand's of us, my mother is my first Hero, my first friend, my first philosopher, my first advisory, my first guru and my first emotion. 

"Congrats son!, you are now a qualified engineer, Live your dream" she shook my hands when I kept my engineering degree in her hands, "I will never depend on you for anything..Learn your own lesson" she uttered, when I told her that I wanted to do Theatre! May be the words of confidence by her on that day drove me to dive in hard! The face which I always wished to see during my childhood was suddenly now a face of inspiration for me. I had heard that a mother can dawn several faces together, it was then I realized. I liked the feeling of my mother being my inspiration! 

My Mother raised me and my brother by stitching cloths for 35 years, thanks to the government work my father was in! She recalls the times when she used to save 10 paise each month to buy One cake for my brother on new years day! I grew up seeing her pain on the tailoring machine with all the heat sucking up the blood in her body!  

"Patience is the key to success my son" she read the verses of geetha when I was young! I wonder where she gathered all those patience from! 

Days rolled down, times passed by, seconds flashed and I realized today that my mother never complained about me for not being there for her, I was always busy chasing my dreams! I was always busy trying to pursue my dreams but what about the dreams she dreamt for me as a mother? She remained very strong every time I came home throwing my bag in frustration, she consoled me, she spoke to me, she filled confidence in me, she advised me, but what did I do when she came home? in the same frustration, may be I was not even at home then, She must have fought that battle alone! 

The true sense of sheer confidence in her which made me what I am today is represented minutely by my sir name which I named myself after her, Probably completely unorthodox but I knew deep inside that it will only help me to grow further. 

Today when I see her; tired and exhausted, I remember an episode in my life where once she fell asleep on the tailoring machine in order to complete the orders taken, that she stitched her hand along with blouse piece, I was probably 10 then when she started crying in agony and pain, my father took a 'cutting plier' and pulled the needle off her hand as she collapsed down in sheer pain in a pool of blood, I was shocked and scared to talk to her then! After some time i sneaked into her, she was still busy stitching completing all the orders, I questioned her

"Why do you have to go through all these?" for which she replied

"For your better future..." I replied back..

"With all this pain and blood?" she smiled, removed the bandage from her hand.. and showed me the wound, she told me

"Blood can be got back, not your future...." 

Tears rolled down my eyes!

That was the day I decided to stop worshiping god, I believed that I have ONE sitting right in front of me, Till today I worship only her.

A bill board near Bangalore International Airport once said "God was busy to be everywhere, instead he created Mother...." how true........